Friday, May 6, 2011

Heart Gallery & Adoption

Stephen and I have always talked about fostering kids or adopting. I don't know where this desire in me comes from, except I know there are so many kids out there who are having a worse childhood than mine, and need a good home. This past Christmas I was watching the Dave Thomas Home for the Holidays special and I couldn't take it anymore. I'm 42. If we are going to do this, we better do it soon! I immediately went on the website for the Heart Gallery and found a 12 year old boy and his short story http://www.heartgallerytampabay.org/children/cody.php?gid=0 ripped open my heart. Soon, I had Stephen convinced. He's a big pushover so he didn't need much convincing. Plus, he would love a son to play video games with and teach hockey to. Next, we went to orientation. The second step is taking 10 weeks of parenting classes, these are called MAPP classes. Unfortunately, the March classes were already full so we had to wait until May, but guess what? It's MAY!! We start next Tuesday and we are so excited!
Of course we are scared, we've never had a child to be responsible for! But, one thing we are not afraid of is having a support system. I have a large extended family with my Aunt, and cousins, plus my niece & nephew. My aunt & cousins took me in when I didn't have any other family. My husband's mom and brother are pretty terrific (shhhh don't tell them I said that!), plus he has a large family of multiple aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents that live nearby. I also have my two best friends. One I've had for about 27 years, and the other about 14 years. I have absolutely no doubt that every one of our family members will embrace an adopted child as if he or she was born in our family and had grown up with us their entire lives. I'm so excited to be able to offer our kid not only ourselves but the wonderful extended families we have.
I'm currently reading Ashley Judd's book entitled "All That Is Bitter and Sweet". Her first chapter is called "Family of Chance, Family of Choice". She says "My family of choice is a colorful assortment of surrogate grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends who infuse me with love, belonging, and acceptance. My family of origin, the one into which I was born, was also brimming with love but was not a healthy family system." Lets be honest, who's family is ever a 100% healthy family system? We can not choose our family of chance it's our family of origin, we get what we get. But, we have our families of choice. We can choose to surround ourselves with love and support. I've had a friend or two over the years who I was close to, long term friends. Over time these relationships became toxic to me. Filling my life with their negativity about my marriage, my life. I made a choice. As tough as it was I ended those friendships, because it's my choice. My family of choice is supportive and loving. My family of choice does include members of my family of chance, not everyone, but I'm learning with family, not just friends it is a matter of choice.

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