Addiction, My Brother, My Family...

Funny, I don't remember a lot from my childhood. I'm assuming this is because I have blocked it out. I know we all have issues stemming from our childhoods Mine are better than some, worse than others. Some people were abused less, some more.
My actual first memory is of my brother when he was brought home from the hospital. My mother had him on the changing table in his room and as little boys do, he peed on me! Ah prelude to what follows, lol! A few years later I paid him back by accidentally burning his leg. I was about 5 and he must have been 2. I decided it was a good idea to make my parents breakfast in bed. My brother wanted to be helpful and put a paper towel over the pan. ON A GAS STOVE. The problem wasn't that I was trying to make breakfast, the problem was I talked him out of telling our parents about the third degree burn on his leg for quite a while.
Until recent years I have had a good relationship with my brother. Even now, we really don't speak, but this is not borne from a disagreement or problems between us. The separation is entirely induced by me. You see my brother is an addict. Alcoholic, drug addict, whatever you want to say. He's not into crack or heroin, more like xanax type drugs. Frankly, I miss my brother. However, I miss the brother I know, not the homeless looking addict he has become. This person is a stranger I don't want to know, and can't have in my life, it's too painful.
The addiction started in his teenage years, smoking pot. I'm not for or against pot. I've been known to partake once in a great while myself. Honestly, if you have fibromyalgia a single puff or two stops muscle spasms immediately, and helps you sleep. The problem is it can be what they call a "gateway" drug. I hate to say that. Because it's not for me. Still, I know other people who smoking pot has lead to harder drugs, and we've had a lot of issues with drugs in my extended family with drugs, both in the past and in the current tense. I don't have a problem with a little smoke once in a while, but the other stuff, it just takes control of your life and ruins it.
So my brother was brought home once by the cops, busted smoking pot. I think he had to go to counseling then. What I don't understand is why he started. Maybe it just seemed cool. My dad never abused us and he was mom's favorite, he never did anything wrong in her eyes. Bad grades, busted for pot smoking, whatever, he was still mom's golden boy. She never abused him, what did he have to escape from?
After high school graduation he attempted junior college, but it really wasn't for him. He started out young as a telemarketer in my dad's business and eventually worked his way to manager. Groomed by my dad. I know he and dad would go to lunch and Brian would have 2 or 3 beers. Mom and I begged dad to talk to him about this, as he'd go home after work and drink another 6 pack. I think dad did talk to him a few times but my dad had his own drinking demons from his own youth.
I don't remember much about those times. My mother always says I think my dad was perfect. I know he wasn't, I remember being young and being drug out of bed in our pj's to go with mom so she could drag dad out of some bar. I don't know when he got smart, and straightened out, but the point is eventually he did. My brother is almost 40 and he never has.
Brian really went off the deep end after my dad passed. I don't know if he blames himself for losing the business, or if that is just the excuse he uses. I can tell you though, the business closing wasn't his fault. The home improvement business was on it's way downhill when my dad passed, who knows the stress could have even added to my dad's stroke. This was a crucial time for my brother though. He started drinking heavily, then he started working for a guy he met in a bar who introduced him to drugs. During this time he was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, given his first prescription and introduction to xanax. Sure, xanax is helpful, trust me I've been in the throes of an anxiety attack many times. But xanax isn't helpful when taken 3 or 4 at a time with alcohol! This is the addict.
Eventually he lost his family. He's not allowed to see his kids, and if they were my kids I wouldn't let him see them either. My niece doesn't remember him, he's been gone from her life since she was about 2. My nephew hates him. I can understand that. As a kid I would feel abandoned. I would feel like he made a choice, and I believe he did. I know addicts will tell me it's not a choice, it's an addiction. But don't you make a choice to get help? Doesn't a cancer patient make a choice to get help?
My mother took him to AA, she's still heavily involved in al-anon. My husband and I took him him several times. One time he had been living on the street, sleeping under bushes, eating at soup kitchens. Another time I found him on my doorstep. He asked me to take him to jail to turn himself in for a dui. He spent 3 months in the local jail. When he was released my husband and I took him in again. The rule was no drinking. The first thing he did was sneak a 6 pack of beer in the window of his bedroom. Not too much time before he started getting slightly abusive with me. Not hitting, and I don't remember specifically what he did, my husband probably does. I do remember Steve picked him up by his shirt and threw him out.
Now a days I haven't seen him in a few years. I have friends who have run into him though and they tell me he's still super skinny, and still looks like a homeless person. I wish I could say I have hope for him to realize he has a problem but I don't. One of these days I will get a phone call that he is gone.