Feeling stupid

I'm going to tell you this as if it happened today when in truth it happened last Thursday, although the embarrassment and stupidity I felt still lingers. Thursday morning I had an appointment with my new neurologist, a rather important appointment, thus. I live about 1.3 miles from the doctor's office and had decided to take the bus, a mode of transport I have not yet used in my 42 years of life. I could have driven my husband to work at 4 a.m. (1/2 an hour from here), or borrowed a car from my mother in law, or even asked my best friend to take me, but that all seemed silly, I mean it's only a mile for goodness sakes, and I'm a fairly independent woman, or at least I used to be.
To say I have sleep problems would be saying that the fact I have not slept yet and it is 8 a.m. is normal. This normal occurrence, for me, is especially true the night before a doctor's appointment, as I am always afraid I won't wake up in time. This particular Wednesday night / Thursday morning was no exception. About 5 a.m. I realized I may be having more problems than the normal, and should have taken a xanax earlier. By 7 a.m. I was in full on panic attack mode at the thought of taking the bus. I'm only traveling on the bus roughly 5 minutes, but how do I let the bus driver know when I want to get off? The bus is not like the subway, it doesn't stop at EVERY location. My husband tells me there is a cord to pull. Ok, I can pull a cord, but when do I pull it? He tells me after the previous stop to when I want to get off. How do I know when I'm at the stop prior to the one I want?
Truthfully, I can't believe I'm writing this down, sharing it, putting it out there for the entire world to read. I was in one of the worst panic attacks of my entire life over a bus ride. I couldn't breathe, I started vomiting. I had to call the doctor and reschedule. Like I said I still feel extremely embarrassed, stupid, and even ashamed.
To make matters more absurd, and this may surprise you, I used to be a pilot. A single engine, and multi engine pilot. Not only could I fly, I was licensed to teach OTHERS to fly.
I have an appointment with my regular doctor this Thursday. Trust me when I say I already have my best friend lined up to take me and I also have my husband lined up for a "bus lesson". Yes, a bus lesson. He will take me on the bus, we will ride it to where I need to get off for the doctor's offices, then get back on where I will catch it home. I'm terrified. The funny thing is I was sooooo excited about the bus and the new found freedom I could have (I found the route to the mall and I don't even have to change buses :) ), oh well, maybe someday! (or maybe someday I can convince my husband I do have good enough balance for a pink scooter!!)