Admiration of Strength and Courage

My cousin is a fighter. That I have always known. She's the oldest of seven kids. was a second mother to all of them. I think all but two have lived with her at some point including me. She's worked two or three jobs when she's had to in order to support her family.

She's five foot tall and has never been afraid to tell someone how it is even if they are six foot 250 pounds. I used to make her crazy. I was the kid who was so shy I sat off by myself while the other kids played kickball at recess. I would never stand up for myself, which is what made her crazy. She taught me how when I lived with her. For which I will be eternally grateful (although others who find my bluntness rude may disagree).

In some ways we are so much alike. Neither of us have ever been able to hide our dislike of someone. Both of us count loyalty as one of the top traits we both admire and expect in a person. In some ways we are not alike. Nine months ago she had a car accident. She has a dislocated jaw she was supposed to have surgery on today (postponed due to more problems with...), she has swelling of the brain, she is having some kind of problem with all the discs in her back from top to bottom that I don't understand, neuropathy of the brain stem, some kind of eyesight problems, including temporary blindness at times. and the list goes on.

I thought I knew pain. I can not begin to fathom the pain she is in. But she still works at least weekends as a waitress. I don't understand how she does it. I can't help but compare our situations and find hers extremely worse, yet she has the steel to still work, as a waitress nonetheless. On her feet probably 8 hours a day. This blows my mind. I think I am green with envy. I have to say that today, my cousin is the person I admire most. For she makes me look inward, find myself lacking in steel, and determined to do better.