Sunday, October 25, 2009

Ups and Downs

I think this moodiness may just kill me. I have been so moody lately. My husband is really a dream, works 10-14 hrs a day then comes home and does the dishes or whatever else I need and lately I have just been so bitchy. I hate being that way, reminds me of my mother, but I can't control it. Like right now it is 3 am I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. I have no idea why. Well, maybe exhaustion. I overdid it Thursday helping my friend with her computer, which I really wanted to do for her I just don't think either of us expected setting up her new computer to take so long. It wasn't the physical stuff that took so long, although I was laying on my stomach under the desk at one time folding cords up and tying each individual one up with a velcro strip. The other stuff, setting the actual pc up. First we couldn't get the cable modem to work. I spent 20 mins on the phone with someone out of country, finally he says "I am going to give you a ticket number because when I reset your modem we will lose the call. Resetting the modem should fix the problem but if it doesn't just call back and give the ticket number". So I wait the three minutes, call back give the ticket number and the new representative says to me right away "did you try the standby button? press and hold it for three seconds and then try the internet". Fixed. Geez. One thing our cable company offers is a free antivirus software called CA Internet Suite that I really think is fantastic so why should she have to pay for Norton? No reason, so I uninstalled Norton and downloaded the CA. Downloaded Picasa. If you haven't discovered Picasa yet it is another free program this time by Google. It is for photos. When I changed from my laptop to my new PC (thank you again Marty, I love u little bro) I uploaded all my photos to web albums on Picasa and then downloaded what I wanted to back onto my PC. All the others are still on my private, unlisted, web albums where I can access them any time I want but they aren't clogging up my computer.
So back to my moods, sorry I tend to digress at 4 am. I feel like I went through the entire range of emotions in less than 12 hours, happy, excited, angry, royally pissed off (same thing?? I don't know, not in this case), insulted, and then just exhausted, in pain, and crying. I took two xanax so I am starting to feel calm and hopefully sleep will come soon. I really must make an appointment to go back to my primary care doctor to see about a mood stabilizer, I feel like I am all over the place. I have been told this is quite normal for bipolar. I'm not sure. Ideas? Comments?

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