June 9 & 10

Tue, 9 Jun 2009 1:40 am
today was kind of awful again. I started to get really grumpy and shaky and just overall not feeling better but started laundry and changing sheets. I checked my blood sugar and it was fine. One of my friends, who is bipolar, actually I coincidentally was chatting with 3 bipolar friends who said it sounded like I was at the start of a manic episode. I took 2 xanax and about 1/2 hour I started feeling calmer then I napped for a few hours. I woke up with a headache but not shaky and not as grouchy. Stephen thinks I have been moodier since I started the cymbalta and I think he is right. All I know is I am sooo tired of being grumpy and feeling so out of character and like I can't control my moods.
Tue, 9 Jun 2009 11:10 am
slept 3 hrs last night. didn't take an ambien cause I fell asleep without it and when I woke up it was 5:30 and I didn't want to take one at that time. It's 11 now and I laid down for 1/2 an hour. My body is saying "OMG I AM SOOOO TIRED" and my insides are saying "WOO HOOOOOOO LET'S PARTY". I just ook a xanax. Hopefully it will calm the insides down so I can sleep. I didn't take my cymbalta this morning, I am going to try taking it at night instead. Maybe I will have the grouchy times when I am sleeping. ha ha!
June 10
ok it's 2 am and I have been awake since 5:30 yesterday morning. I forgot to take my meds earlier was working on a photo project. I took a shower this afternoon and just took another one. For some reason my head broke out in a horrible itchy flaky rash tonight so I took another one to wash my hair again, I used the same product I've used for months so it's not the product. Maybe stress, guilt, Stephen is working like 15-16 hr days, apartment complex giving us a hard time about rent we don't have. But my head has never broken out in rash because of stress before. Only ever if I hadn't washed my hair in a few days, and that isn't the case.
June 10 2 pm
slept 10 hours but woke up so stiff and sore i can barely breathe, feels like a python around my ribs. my right hand is so swollen it is barely usable, I can't bend my fingers. Plus I am still exhausted.